So, one thing I absolutely LOVE about living in Minnesota is that there are very clearly four different seasons. I know it’s often talked about how our walk with God can resemble those seasons. It hit me today that that is so true in my life right now.
Winter can be a very cold, dead season for many. In Minnesota this is very accurate. In my life, this past winter was a tough one spiritually. I took a hard hit shortly before the holidays and really struggled to come out of that. At the same time, I sought out Gods leading and ended up switching churches. While I loved the church I had been attending, I knew I needed to find a church that I could connect with. Changing churches is difficult as it is, at times, easier to just fade away.
As winter faded in Minnesota, I got more active in the church I have been attending. I also started to climb my way out of the pit of deadness that I had let myself wallow in for far too long. I made the decision that it was time to allow God back into the spots in my heart that I’d closed off to Him and let Him do the healing that was needed.
Spring began to spring and so did passions and dreams within my heart. I started this whole blog shortly after being at Camp Create and discovering a passion that God had placed in my heart. The more I’ve reflected on it, the more I feel that maybe it wasn’t a passion that needed discovered, I believe that maybe it was a passion that simply needed to have my heart and mind opened up to it.
God has given me a creative spirit and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a passion to help others find healing and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a spirit of love and care and compassion and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a spirit of learning and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a spirit of humor and connection and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a spirit of entertaining and hospitality and I’m meant to use it. God has given me a story and I’m meant to share it. God has given me gifts and desires and passions and longings and I’m meant to pursue them and go after them.
I don’t know what exactly this all means. I don’t know if or when I’ll truly ever find what it all means. But I do know that God has given me this longing to help others find healing through art and expression and I’m going to find a way to do that.
I spent this past weekend in Nebraska at a craft event called Handmade U and had the opportunity to re-connect with someone from when I was at Camp Create. Being able to go for a walk in the peace and serenity of a Nebraska field and talk about where God has brought us to and where we are going was so soul enriching. Spending time in fellowship with Jennifer again allowed me to begin to smile and remember what I experienced in September. It also made me remember what it was like to live in community. It showed me that it is okay to be who I am, no matter who I’m around.
I trust that God has something great down the road for me. That may be tomorrow or next month or next year or who knows when. But it’s coming. And just as farmers use the spring season to prepare the fields and plant the crops, I am going to spend this season preparing my heart for what He has next. Growth is just around the corner and I can’t wait to see what that growth produces!